Success and failure thought process.

Pattern: noun 1. A decorative design, as for wallpaper, china, or fabric. 2. A combination of qualities, acts, and tendencies forming a consistent or characteristic arrangement.

Humans, by design, are one of the most predictably habitual creatures on the face of this planet. Our social interactions, eating schedules, commutes from here to there, and even work ethics can be tracked and predicted to an exact science. Have you ever noticed how you get hungry around the same time every day, feel tired around the same time every day? Or how you react to joy, anger, embarrassment? Let’s go a bit further.

How long would it take you to describe your morning “routine”? Two sentences? Maybe three? Pretty boring, right? Yet, if you were to describe in detail the reasons for every motion, every choice – why you use this product or that one, why you take this route to work, or the gym, or school, or day care, you could almost write a 5 page thesis.

The fact of the matter is we design patterns and ways of thinking for our every day of our lives, regardless if we want to admit it or not. Some perfect examples… good and bad: Cause: Your boss sends you an email or calls you and says he needs to speak to you. Effect: Most people get nervous and retrace where they might have made an error. Cause: You’re standing at the end of line at the grocery story. Another clerk walks past you towards an adjacent register. Effect: Your heart rate speeds up, and you quickly scurry to check out before the “register open” light comes on.

A very sad pattern; A rather judgmental person is walking home. As they turn the corner to the next block, they see a group of younger individuals of a different ethnicity. They are fearful, clutching their belongs tight, averting their eyes downward to avoid antagonizing any possible threat.

We find ourselves thinking and reacting almost identically despite the circumstances we face. It’s our way of thinking and repeating that thought process over and over that provides the end result. I’m sure we all know someone who is very negative most of the time. This person is always complaining about traffic, or co-workers, family members, political figures, you name it. Why do you think that is? It has been scientifically proven that a positive thought is hundreds of times more powerful than a negative one, so why is this person always so down?

From a cosmic perspective, they attract negativity energy to themselves. From a human being point of view, they habitually train their mind to see the glass as half empty. The same thing can be said for the enlightened few who always seem to have good fortune.

Winston Churchill once said “The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty” We all have our good and not so good days. Yet, you’ve probably noticed that most embrace one way of thinking or another. Heck, it seems like the entire country music industry is based on negative thinking!

“My woman left home, my truck broke down, the dog is dead, and the government is coming to collect my savings.” Yes, those that know me personally will vouch that my knowledge of country music is as developed as my interest in the matting rituals of the dung beetle, but I hope you see my point. SO NEGATIVE!

On the other hand, one has to notice and acknowledge that successful people seem to have no limits. How many millionaires do you read or hear about that are actors, musicians, philanthropists, project developers, charity drivers etc? These people not only have the golden touch, but it appears that every few months they accomplish yet another task that is impossible for the mere mortal.

The only thing that separates the “victims” from the “victors” is their way of thinking. Victors have set thought processes that keep their mind focused on overcoming obstacles. They see things in a timely manner and don’t get discouraged when a task tests their patience. They believe with all of their heart that sooner or later success will be theirs. Same thing for Victims… only polar opposite. They see the risks and lack the courage to face them. They look for failure rates and analyze how likely they will be the next one. Victims create excuse after excuse after excuse as to why things are always turning against them. It’s their failure pattern, much like a beautiful drape, every few inches the design repeats itself.

If you truly desire to be successful and commit to that success, you absolutely must develop mental patterns for success. There is no getting around it. How else are you going to deal with the struggle of not getting it right on the first try? Or having to make adjustments to your plans. Or dealing with people who only reinforce doubt by trying to convince you that you might not make it?

Personally, I’m a big fan of meditation, and I highly suggest you try it before you knock it. I once heard a wise man say “Praying is talking to God. Meditating is allowing him to answer back.” If that has any merit at all, why not allow yourself to listen to the power of creation? If you’re trying to create success in love, health, business, or spiritual enlightenment, why not turn to the source of that power and hear what they have to say? Once you develop those patterns of thinking, you avoid the negative no matter how bleak things may seem, and despite how high you wish to soar into the stars and beyond, I know you’ll get there.

See you at the top.

Our nature as it should be

It is the job and duty of any health professional to not only reinforce, but to strengthen the individual with whom which they work. Be it mind, body, or spirit. Some of us take this task much more seriously than others, but anyone claiming to be a professional at improving you should have this belief written somewhere in their ideology.

ABSolute Fitness stakes a claim in being experts in conditioning and changing the body. As such, I often research different ways to master that ability beyond the common workout techniques or principles. If you haven’t figured it out by now, we take successfully training the mind for wellness very seriously – for how can one strengthen the body if the mind is not equally as strong? This past weekend and throughout the week I have been examining the elements of strength.

From an instinctual point of view, we are taught that the core elements of our planet are earth(dirt), air, fire, and water. Trying to avoid ripping-off the early 90’s cartoon “Captain Planet”, those are the ingredients that comprise Mother Earth. But in terms of the human body, one element stands far above the rest as the principal for which we should emulate ourselves. Yes, we do need to have a strong foundation like the dirt; we can’t function or survive without the air in our lungs; and the fire of our passion drives us to keep going and push through the obstacles that lay before us. Yet to me, the nature of water is what best represents the strength in our lives.

From the exterior, water covers 72% of the earth. That’s a common misunderstanding that the earth is “made up” of 72%, but still most of our planet is coated in the stuff. Human male bodies consist of around 60% water and females between 50-55%. An interesting fact: infants are made up of a whopping 78% water! Does this not clearly reinforce that water is the most important substance in our lives to help the young grow strong?

The nature of water and how it can relate to our lives is the true meaning of this post. Water has no form, yet it can fit in any container and take any shape. Water is soft to the touch and can be passed through with ease, but at the proper speed or distance can be as hard as granite and crush any object that tests its strength. Water can be at a resting peace; stagnant, without any motion at all. But it also has the ability to constantly follow at slow or deadly speeds in unrelenting fashion. Water is stationary. It doesn’t migrate like birds or buffalo. It doesn’t soar over mountains like a hawk or the wind. But it is very flexible, and can go around bends in a river, curves in a brook or stream, or even take detours around entire land masses to get to its next destination. And one of my favorites: water is completely unbiased towards other water. It doesn’t matter if hot water meets cold water, lake water meets ocean water, or solid water meets liquid water, they always come together. There is no judgment, no pause, no jealousy.

We certainly could learn a lot from this vital substance. When we come to a “rock like” time in our lives, its our nature to run away and feel defeated. Water keeps pushing and pushing, looking for cracks to creep into the center of that rock, to break it down from the inside. Take the Grand Canyon. Water erosion over the course of many years stripped away the rock and carved its own signature into earth. We are made up of so much water, why can’t we do the same?

So many of us are set in our ways of beliefs, habits, even finances on how we perceive each other, that our views and assumptions simply won’t bend. Water is flexible. Rivers all over the world have wide and narrow points. Millions of gallons rushing in sync come to a 3 foot wide bend in the river, and what does the water do? It pauses. It waits. It works together and lets every drop have its turn in passing such a small opening. It works together. It’s unified. And when the river stretches out again, the droplets go back to their normal speed. Should we not be more like water, and work together to surpass the tight spots on our journey together? Should we not be more understanding of one another and the individual struggles we face?

We all have our weak points. All of us give in at one time or another. Junk food, mistreatment from others, needless spending. Our experiences in life demand that we, at some time or another, allow something to pass through us regardless of whether or not we should let it pass. Water is no different. The tiniest child can easily pass her infant foot through a running stream. Wiggling her toes through the current. Breaking the barrier that water prides itself on. But what happens when you test that barrier? What would happen if you were to jump off a bridge 200 feet above a body of water? Water shows you its strength. It forms a wall as solid as concrete. It comes together and crushes the momentum you thought you had at impact. It might not speak, but it says to you “You didn’t respect my strength and took my soft nature for granted. You were wrong to do so.” Can we not be gentle and soft, and yet when needed, become rock hard and diligent with a moments notice? Repel the force that is trying to pass through us; that doesn’t respect us.

Lastly, what happens when our emotions overtake us? Be it joy, sorrow, frustration, or bliss. Our body tightens, and we release water from our eyes. I’m a Science major. I have studied and continue to study the body in-depth, but I’m going to over look the technical reasons for crying and tears. What if when we weep, we do so water can remind us to be strong? As the tears flow from heartbreak, or anger, or over whelming joy, water tells us that “ You must be strong. You must be flexible. You must be able to adapt. You have to keep flowing. You can be soft now, but when needed, you must harden up and resist the force that is trying to over take you.” What if that is the real reason for our tears?

Mental Barriers

When facing a challenging situation, the person going through the struggle often hears the common and ill-respected phrase from their peers “Think positive.” Usually it’s used to calm the emotions, or as a sanctimonious means of giving false hope. People might not intend it to be that way, but the phrase is a normally a write-off; a term said because most people don’t know what else to say.

Despite the billions of human beings who have lived in the course of our history, and all the difficulties and struggles our ancestors have faced; failed; and overcome to this day, when we, as individuals, meet a foe we are unfamiliar with, it feels like were the only person who has taken on the task. You might think it silly, but think back to a time of strife in your life. Be it business or work hardship, a health related issue, relationship, or even something as simple as assembling a new entertainment center, (who hasn’t spent several hours trying to understand the “easy” instructions), while you’re going through the challenge it feels like you’re the first person in history to do so.

Back to the point of thinking positive. Having an optimistic view of the outcome is very important in my opinion, but there is a better way to face challenges no matter how difficult you perceive it to be, or how much the odds seem stacked against you. Mental Barriers.

The Webster definition of Barrier is, “Anything built or serving to bar passage, as a railing, fence or the like. Anything that restrains or obstructs progress, access.” When you see a challenge, you see a barrier between you and your goal. Why not use that same thinking in reverse? When you see a challenge, put up a barrier for the negative thoughts of fear of failure, and the inability to complete the task.

Watching a film on great people in history, one of the commentators said “Every person that ever accomplished anything didn’t know how they were going to do it. They just knew it was going to be done.” I wondered  “how is that possible?” How did Thomas Edison know, after so many failed attempts to create the light bulb, that he was going to do it? How did the Wright brothers, facing the fear of certain death with failure, know they were going to create a vehicle that would lift off the ground?

My absolute favorite person in human history is Alexander the Great. So much so that if I have a son one day, I plan to name him after the Greek King. In addition to being a tactical genius, he was one of the most courageous people in known history. At the time he faced Darius III, ruler of the Persian empire at the battle of Issus in 330 BC, his troops were out-numbered 5 to 1. For those who are unfamiliar, let me go a bit deeper. Greece was a sophisticated kingdom at the time, but the Persian empire was a collection of what is now the modern-day Middle East. It would be like the state of Virginia going to war with the entire southeastern part of the country. Despite incredibly overwhelming odds, multiple foreign cultures, and their military tactics and fighting styles, and even his own advisers and generals believing the battle could not be won, Alexander somehow knew that it could be, and that they would be victorious. He used Darius’s arrogance against him, and made the proud Persian emperor over-commit his troops to certain disaster.

So what separates these legends in history from you and I and the struggles and challenges we face? Mentally blocking the negative influences that tried to keep them from achieving epic results in the tasks that lay before them.

It’s so easy to give in. So easy to quit. So easy to look at the stats and the failure rates and say to yourself, “Can I really do it? What happens if I don’t?”, which are only the internal voices. When I first explored becoming an independent business owner, one of the most consistent pieces of advice that I heard was, “80% of small businesses fail. Be careful.” Some might take that as concern and friendly advice, but does that not plant the seed of fear and failure in the subconscious? Why go over the percentage if I had already made up my mind to do it? I did then, and still do now, have set up barriers to block the negative emotions and influences that will distract me from success.

The same can be said for financial woes, relationship struggles, health or anything for that matter. If you’re diagnosed with a potentially terminal disease, thinking ,“It’s over! I’m dead!” is not going to improve the outcome, whatever that may be. Why torment yourself with laying negative energy in the most powerful tool you have… your mind.

Nothing has never been beaten. There has never been an obstacle, or illness, or financial struggle any human in history has ever faced, that had no way of being overcome. Some succeed, some find another way, but regardless of how the last chapter is written, if you don’t have concrete walls blocking the thoughts of “guaranteed failure”, sooner or later, they’re going to creep in.

“When the voice and the vision on the inside become more profound and more clear and loud then the opinions on the outside, you’ve mastered your life.” Dr. John Demartini

Trials and Errors.

For most people, the thought of failure is associated with negative emotions and feelings of low self-worth. Understandably so. The lowest letter grade you can receive in school is an “F”. If the business you tried to start and couldn’t maintain has to close, it’s labeled as a “failed business”. Unfortunately, even when a man or woman leaves their spouse because of infidelity it is considered a “failed marriage”, regardless of whether or not it was the proper thing to do.

So many mistake human experience as linear. What I mean by that is that people perceive their lives as a straight line of events that occur, often out of their control, in some check-point system that defines their existence. That way of thinking starts at a very young age. “Learn to read… so you can go to school…so you can get an education…so you can go to college one day…so you can get a good job…so you can meet your spouse…so you can have a family of your own.” Mapped out, check points along the way, and no room for veering off course, or getting lost. Linear. Regardless of whether we stick to the beaten path. Yet, we all learn sooner or later that life really doesn’t work that way.

When our plans and ambitions don’t pan out the way we  thought, it causes frustration, pain, and that “F” word starts to come to mind, but that goes back to linear thinking. What we’re not told as children, and seems to be a universal truth, is that experience is actually circular, not linear.

“The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.” Remember that? What about, “What goes around comes around”? Nothing I have ever achieved in my 32 years of existence that has been worthwhile has ever been as simple as point A to point B. The majority of the time it’s been a “swing effect” of actions that lead to choices, that lead to other actions, that produce what I was intending. The earth is round and rotates in a circle; the wheel; even the “circle of life” is how we explain the existence of all that inhabit this world. So would it not make sense that our experiences, the trials and errors within those experiences, and the results they produce, be thought of in a curving and arching pattern instead of a straight line?

Let’s delve into a little human history.

There was once a young group of male musicians who tried to create a faster paced sound in a more traditional society. Though obviously talented, they were turned down by the Decca recording company because “Guitar music is on the way out”; at least that’s what they were told. One month later, The Beatles signed with the Parlophone label.

There was once a young man who dreamed of being a writer. He worked for a growing newspaper trying to break into the industry. He was fired for not having any ideas and for lacking imagination. Several years later, Walt Disney began his company that still,to this very day, creates imagination in the youth of the world.

At one time, a young man was cut from his high school basketball team. He went home that night, locked the door, and cried for hours in disappointment. After training and working on his skill sets he tried out again, made the team, and was then recruited to college. Eventually he made it to the NBA. Did I forget to mention he won a national championship with the University of North Carolina, and won six world titles in the NBA; that he was top league scorer for seven years in a row; that his endeavors defined sport celebrity endorsements; and is without question the greatest player in this history of the game? This was Michael Jordan.

How do you think the Beatles, Walt Disney, and MJ felt when they hit the wall of those primary obstacles? It really doesn’t matter. What matters is they didn’t give up with the first sign of struggle. They re-worked their plans, and approached their goals from a different angle. When interviewed, they all claim it was their work ethic and diligence that unlocked success, not some magical incantation or super human ability that only they possessed. This is not to say that their talent wasn’t off the charts, but rather that talent isn’t given at birth. Mastery of that talent, or skill, is developed with years and years of beating on your craft to temper and smooth the steel of your gifts. That’s what sets them apart from the cry-babies who claim things are too hard or simply can not be done. Did you know that some of the wealthiest families of the 20th century began to make their fortunes during the great depression? How many people back then told them that it can’t be done?

Failure doesn’t exist if you believe its part of the learning experience instead of some check point along the path. You have a relationship with someone which dissolves to teach you more about yourself for the relationship that waits down the road – you didn’t fail. You put off studying for a big test, take the test and do poorly because you need to learn the value in dedication and focus. You’re not stupid or a failed student. But once the learning process has occurred, action must be taken for the experience not to be repeated.

Even from a fitness perspective these principles stand true. We stress commitment and accountability above all things. We sit down with prospective clients interested in our gym services and one of the first things we ask them is how committed they are to making change. It’s easy to say “Very committed, nothing is going to stop me”, but when it comes to staying away from the sweets, soda, and processed food, their iron-clad conviction takes a back seat to indulgence. It happens often, but when they fall… not fail… fall, they learn from their error, pick themselves up, and embrace the experience as they climb towards their goals. That is the essence of circular experience, and once you see that failure doesn’t have to be the final stop along the path, nothing will be beyond your desire.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out it.”- Maya Angelou.

Accepting Success

Don’t you just love the feeling of accomplishment? That burst of joy that elevates your heart rate, makes your muscles tighten up, and takes all of your self-control not to jump up and scream “YEAH!”

Realizing a dream into reality not only unleashes the best of human emotions, but it shows us that we overcame the struggles and challenges that stood between us and what we desired. Often times that truth is equally as important as whatever prize we were striving for to begin with. As good of a feeling as success delivers, it’s our perception that what we strive to achieve can only be fully appreciated when we complete the goal; but if the entire experience is what generates that feeling, should we not be thankful when we start to see the results of our labors?

A good friend and tri-athlete of mine often shares his stories of running while we train. I by no means have ever been a long distance runner, so I much prefer to live vicariously through his experiences. He told me the other day that when running a traditional marathon the 20th mile is the half way point. Twentieth mile? I thought. If a marathon is 26.2 miles wouldn’t the half way point be somewhere around 13 miles? He explained further saying that the last 6 miles is when you really have to test your fortitude, push past your legs locking up, and fatigue. It’s half way to finishing since the last few miles seem longer the previous 20 before. It really made me think, but not so much in terms of pushing yourself harder in the end, but more in terms of those last few miles as the beginning of achieving your goal to finish.

The truth is that your goal doesn’t have to fully bloom in order to feel that savory feeling of success. Take detailing your car for example. It’s great to apply that final stroke of the waxing rag against the bumper, then step back and watch it shine. But you can begin to see the work you’re doing pay off before then. Even before the waxing starts, if the car was dirty, and its now cleaner, you have achieved something. You don’t have to wait to be happy about that until the task is complete. You don’t stop working till its done, but that doesn’t mean you can’t feel good about it before it happens.

We see that “drawback” thinking far to often in the gym. Clients tell us what they will do when they have lost this much weight, or gain this much muscle, or when their body looks like this. As encouraging as we are for our clients and members to reach their fitness goals, we try to have them see that they can feel good about their changes now instead of delaying happiness until when they reach the end of their tasks. It’s especially helpful when you encounter a setback, or delay in progression. “You’re doing more now than you were 5 months ago, and that should make you feel almost as good as when that waist line is down 4 inches.”

Even from a business owner’s perspective the same principles apply. You work to network, market, generate leads, and from your efforts of several days, you may or may not accomplish what you set out to do. Yet, if there isn’t a stampede of new business bursting through door, that doesn’t mean your efforts were in vain, and it certainly doesn’t mean you have failed in your task. When I make those efforts, and I don’t see the results as fast as I had hoped for, I try to think a week, month or year down the road. See and visualize the fruits from my labors then, and feel good about it. It’s amazing how something you do in April comes around in September or October, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait until then to be happy about it.

On a personal level I have recently seen small steps that have moved miles in the distance from where I was to where I want to be. I will leave out the details, but from the perception I had of things in December or January is very different from what I have at the end of March, and really the only difference in that perception is acceptance and faith. Knowing that you’re strong enough to run this obstacle course, knowing that despite what others might think or say, it’s really up to the individual to decide his or her destiny. That’s something to feel really good about.

If you’re challenged, and can feel the icy hand of self-doubt sliding over your shoulder trying to comfort your perceived failure… just feel good! It doesn’t matter if you’re not there yet. It doesn’t matter if you’re just starting, or if you’re ten steps from the finish line. The experience itself will be the memory, not the beginning or the end. That memory is what is to be cherished, not just the end result.

“Its been my experience that you nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.” – L.M Montgomery

Real Wealth

When we set in motion an action to validate a desire or goal, we do so in the hope that it will be a step towards whatever achievement we seek. Some of those actions are well calculated, well thought out, and executed. Other actions are random uses of energy to justify the lack of planning or confusion in what we should be doing in our strides for success. Some of us are simply more strategic then others.

Goals and achievements are great, but when you plan for something, do you ever take the time to plan for the primary beneficiary of your actions to be someone other then yourself?

Now I’m not talking about planning to make a nice dinner for a spouse or loved one, or taking action to setup a birthday party for a friend or family member. I mean think, work, and sacrifice so that others will reap the benefits of your labors without the praise and gratitude you might deserve. Take for example a well to do philanthropist who donates a small fortune to a children’s charity, but does so anonymously to avoid the praise. I’m not suggesting giving away all of your assets, but do the actions you take for improvement always only involve improvements for you, or do you see yourself as part of the symbiotic organism that is the human race?

Recently we have been reaching out to other health and wellness professionals to build a networked team for the mind, body, and soul. So many that pursue health are missing some, if not all, of the major elements of it. Good body, low self-esteem, no spirit. Very spiritual, but over weight, and can’t look in a mirror, you get my point. In the course of trying to setup these different relationships we have talked to many people who claim to work for the benefit of mankind, but much to our dismay we keep encountering a deeply saddening state of mind; “what’s in it for me?”

We work with a client. They have very sensitive muscles that tighten and strain for long periods of time. So what do we do? We suggest they see a massage therapist. It helps them, it helps the therapist, and it shows our client that we care about them. What do we not do? We don’t call the massage therapist and say “we have spoken to one of our clients about using your service, and they are very interested, but before we send them to you… we want a 25% cut of the fee for doing so.” It sounds as crazy to read it as I’m typing it now, but believe me it does happen. Far too often. So many out there look for their bottom line despite what benefit it would have for others.

Now please don’t mistake what I’m saying as everyone should do what they do for no charge what so ever. Much like others, my education did cost money, is my livelihood, and is what I dedicate the majority of my time trying to master and perfect. I’m a professional fitness expert, therefore when I act as such be it advice, training, or most things relating to my field, I do seek some sort of compensation. Yet, if giving the chance to briefly assist someone, speak at a function, point someone in a better direction for their goals, I’m happy to do so. For when that happens, I get paid with a much more valuable resource; spiritual currency. Isn’t that just as important if not more then your bottom line?

Money can come and go, much like so many material things that we often covet and hoard for our self indulgences. Yet when was the last time you put real effort to making an experience for an individual or group phenomenal just for the sake of the “WOW” factor instead of your own glory?

It’s easy to get lost in the mix nowadays. I personally have not watched the news in almost six weeks now, and I tell you… its never been better. Some might look at that as chosen ignorance; if it’s not in my direct world then it doesn’t matter kind of thing, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Instead, I chose to block the inundation of negative energy being force fed to us from billion dollar networks. School shootings, soldiers being blown up, gun control arguments, political scandals, that’s all that is ever displayed. Between the news and reality shows, musical artists that idolize “Big Money” lifestyles, so many are infected with this “what’s in it for me” mentality. Yet, if you can step away from the rat race, clear your mind of worries of debt, status, and the focus on the things you want and don’t have, you can see as clear as day that your purpose is not to gather up a convoy of Bentleys, have diamond encrusted remote control buttons, or any other lavish and over the top material item you’ve been told to work for in order to be happy. Helping others around you for their benefit is worth more then all the riches of all the mega stars walking the earth combined. Life is supposed to be abundant, and seeking wealth is a wonderful thing, but not at the expense of others well being, and certainly not by putting a price on something you could easily do for no charge. Be better then the society we dwell in.

“Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”-Oprah Winfrey

Challenges and Perception

Difficulty and struggle are a fact of life. Many consider them an unfortunate fact of life, but too often the hardships we face are disregarded as “Bad Karma” instead of what they truly are; fortitude testing learning experiences.

How do you judge and estimate the level of difficulty for a challenge? It’s our nature to take most things for granted, therefore our assumption of challenge is usually from our interpretation of the circumstance. We judge a minor struggle insignificant in contrast to a major, life-altering event. Yet, is there really a measurable degree of difficulty? How can anyone say one person’s struggle is more or less trying to the soul then another’s?

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “Bad times have a scientific value. They are occasions a good learner would not miss.” If challenges are meant to be learning experiences, the truth is you can’t put a value to the level of difficulty that any struggle presents.

How many of us awoke today and crawled out of bed? Easy right? You do it every day. If you were unable to use your body to propel you upward, it would be a very difficult task. How about eating? There is a fast food joint on every corner, food stores across the parking lot from each other, and even gas stations oandoffice supply stores carry candy bars and snacks. Take money out the equation. Even if you’re flat broke, most people know someone that could feed them, buy them food, and soup kitchens exist for the unknown. How hard is it to eat, really? What if you lived in a war torn, third or fourth world country where food depots were guarded by men with machine guns and feuding tribes murdered each other for grains of rice? How hard would it be to eat then?

So let’s appeal to a matter closer to home. How hard is it to own and operate a successful business? Now if you were to ask master entrepreneurs like Warren Buffet or Henry Ford, I doubt they would say “Its impossible. Don’t do it. It can’t be done.” In fact, Warren Buffet buys failing businesses, creates strategies to generate growth, then sells them for a huge profit faster then most people can paint their bathrooms. So would he claim doing that is difficult? Not likely.

The point I wish to share with you is that regardless of the challenges you face, your perception and reaction to those challenges is just as important as your actions to correct it.

Try to remember when you learned how to walk. No, you can’t. Allow me to share a little known piece of knowledge about the human body; Learning how to walk is one of the most painful experiences most humans ever endure. Yes Ladies, child birth beats it, and I very much respect that, but since this is coming from a males perspective… work with me a little bit here. You know that feeling when your foot falls asleep? Imagine that occurring in every muscle in your lower body. Assuming your parents were holding you upright to keep you balanced, every time you slide your leg forward, every time your foot touched the ground, every time you attempted to balance yourself with your under developed leg muscles it was incredibly painful. Of course you see babies smiling and laughing during the experience, but from an anatomical stand point, the muscles are in agony. Its by far one of the most difficult things a child has to learn how to do.

Now lets fast forward 25 years. How difficult is it to walk now? Let’s assume you’re in good enough health to stand up right; how hard is it? The only difference between the difficulty level of this task is that you had yet to achieve success. Once you do overcome the struggle, it becomes second nature, and you can’t even remember the challenge that seemed so insurmountable.

Despite if its weight loss, rebuilding a broken relationship, eliminating debt, or building a tree house, the true challenge in any of those tasks is realizing and accepting that there is way to prevail, and that if you commit to the desired end result, and don’t let the obstacles that may sprout detour you, it is inevitable that you will succeed. The greater the challenge, the greater the discipline. Perhaps some goals require more time and planning, but how difficult things “have” to be truly is in the eye of the beholder.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more then enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” –Paulo Coelho

Hope and Expectations

So you have created a vision. You have made up your mind that you will indeed accomplish the task that you have committed yourself to. You have taken the actions to root, water, provide sunlight and shade for your proverbial plant of success to grow. So now that all the steps have been administered, when do you expect to yield results?

As I’m sure you know, we live in a society of instant gratification. Instant message, instant texts, one touch internet, one stop shopping, all in one exercise equipment and routines, even the products we use to clean our bodies have been affected. Gone are the days of soap, shampoo, and conditioner. Now its all-in-one body wash, that leaves your hair crisp and soft. Do you remember a straight razor? I mean a single unit razor blade. Mach 2 turned to Mach 3, into the Shik “Quattro!” The market to consumers wanting things faster then light speed is only growing, with no end in sight.

Now, back to our expectations. When all the hard work has been done, when is a reasonable timeline to say you have succeeded? Being a health and fitness expert, people bring their goals and hopes of what they can accomplish with their bodies, and inevitably the question comes up…“ How long will it take me to look like_________?” Now the body is a very complex machine. Trillions of cells, moving systems, organs. Truth be told no machine on earth can compete with the workings of the human body. That said, the higher the goals and the more refined the vision one has of themselves, factored in with what has been neglected previously to put the body in the current state, the more difficult and the longer the delay of success will be. We encourage and hold our clients accountable for the goals they set, and above all reinforce the hope that they will stick to their commitments and see their vision realized. Yet, even with that support system, often our expectations do not match the reasonable time line of the universe.

One of my all time favorite quotes is from Dr. John Demartini, a specialist in human behavior and massive proponent for positive thinking. He says “When the voice and the vision on the inside become more profound and more clear and loud then the opinions on the outside, you’ve mastered your life.” That’s powerful stuff. It makes all too clear that when you don’t let the obstacles, self doubt, and influence from others who don’t see your vision affect you, there is nothing you can’t do. Especially the self doubt.

When we set out to do something, and it doesn’t happen that afternoon, the frustration kicks in and we feel a failure. That damned instant gratification mentality strikes again. But what if we have planned for success, taken the action, and though the results we had hoped for had not occurred….yet… but were days or weeks away, and because we had unrealistic expectations, have giving up hope, hope gives up on us? That’s painful to think of, but it happens time and time again.

From personal experience being a very goal driven individual, it’s a very hard pill to swallow knowing that despite “where there’s a will there’s a way” attitude, time will still dictate the speed of your success. Be it building ABSolute Fitness to the success and vision I see, or working to sculpt a clients body to the form you promised they would work hard for, sometimes no matter how bad you want it, you must allow the project to take its course. It sucks, but there is also a beautiful discipline in the process; it tests to see how bad you seek to make that change. Think about it: If everyone was giving a step by step guide to becoming abundantly wealthy, or athletic, powerful, whatever, what would separate those that did and those that did not? Now I’m not talking about some book you could read and interpret. I mean pictures, days, tasks to accomplish in the proper order to get to what you seek. Fool proof and flawless, you just had to follow through with the program. I’ll bet you my last shinny red cent that if such a book did exist, there would still be individuals who failed. WHY?

The sad fact is that every person who set out to do something great did not fully know how they were going to do it, but they did know it was going to be done. They had realistic expectations or they didn’t  but they didn’t give up hope. And when they came to a road block standing between them and the continuance of their journey, they didn’t turn back. They didn’t expect to achieve success instantly, yet they didn’t think they had failed when the effort lasted longer then the timeline when they had hoped to get results. That power is within all of us. Some just need it crafted an honed more then others.

Find it in yourself to keep your focus on your goals. Try not to let the frustrations and pressures turn you back from fighting on. Your victory might be a day, week, or month away. And though that victory might not be the end to the war, it certainly could turn the tide in your favor.

“There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.” -unknown author